Categorylife

The general parent category for most of the things I write about on here.

One of the more interesting Louisa-centric sub-categories is biodata (where I explore my personal history with graphs, maps and whatnot), and if you’re that way inclined, you can read about the wonderful felines and canines with whom I’ve shared my life too.

Thinking about participation

When the Pope got pushed at Christmas, the thing that disturbed me most about the incident wasn’t the pontiff prodding, it was the fact that everyone had their cameras/phone-cameras in the air, recording the service then the fall. Last night, John was watching some videos of beatbox competitions on YouTube and it was exactly the same – everyone in the audience was giving the hi-tec salute. And last year, at Unity Day in Hyde Park, I remember everyone noticing how pretty it was when we looked down an avenue of trees as the low, much-welcome sun streamed through onto the silhouetted revellers mingling around — and we all instinctively reached for our cameras to capture the scene. Since none of us are particularly skilled photographers, and at least half of us were using crappy phone cams, the image would never be a fraction as beautiful as the reality of the situation but we couldn’t help ourselves.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Susan Sontag’s essays ‘On Photography’. I first came across them when I was 16 when I was just starting Media Studies – I’ve not re-read them since so it might be that I’m missing some key points or remembering the whole thing wrong but what stuck with me was the idea that you can’t both participate in and record a moment – you can do one or the other but not both.

I guess this has been on my mind not just because of the Pope and beatbox but because it’s the start of the year and various people in my life and/or feedreader are starting “photo-a-day” projects for 2010. I’m a big, big fan of recording things for posterity for my own future enjoyment but I worry that our current obsession with recording everything – in photos and videos as I’ve mentioned here but also Tweeting and other such instant text-based records – is stopping us enjoying the moment as it happens. We feel like it hasn’t happened unless we can share it instantly with everyone in our social network. It’s not only instant sharing – I find myself composing Tweets-for-later-posting or Three Beautiful Things in my head all the time. An example of this just happened: I looked out of the living room window and a magpie flew across the snow-covered garden. Rather than just enjoying the monochrome vision, I started to think how I would write about it for today’s 3BT update.

I realise that I’m being a bit harsh here. These latter more creative projects certainly have their good points – a lot of people’s “photo-a-day” projects aren’t as much about capturing a moment as they are about an ongoing exercise to improve their photograph skills; similarly, I use Twitter and my 3BT updates as writing exercises. And wanting to share the pretty, the funny, the momentous with other people who can’t be there is admirable – but it does come at a cost. As soon as you reach for your camera, you are no longer in the moment, not fully anyway. This distance can be useful as (iirc) Sontag mentions in relation to war photography but when it’s at a party or enjoying a walk, it just disrupts the mindfulness of the moment. For as long as I can remember, I’ve used humour & cynicism (and teetotalism, heh) to avoid losing myself in the moment and now it seems I’m reacquiring more tools to aid my remove. So what can I do to stop it? Let the excuses begin: I’m finding 3BT a depression-busting exercise – forcing myself to focus on positive things for a change. I could stop Twittering but I use Twitter to provide myself with office banter when I’m working at home, for news, for meeting new people I’d otherwise never meet – particularly not with my real-life super shyness.

One idea I’ve had is to do something, participate in something interesting every day and consciously not Tweet/3BT it, not take a photo of it, not text John or Katherine going “ooh” – but I don’t know if that’s enough because I already do it quite a bit (for example, when we were in Madrid in November, I took exactly one photograph and hardly posted to Twitter at all, and, on a more day to day level, I frequently censor myself from tweeting about having a really, really good wee etc).

So what to do. what to do…

This random brain spew brought to you by strong, sugared tea and a morning of book-keeping.

3BT – snow again, spices, snow again again

1. We wake up and the world is freshly white again. After more than a fortnight, it feels like we’re living in the perpetual winter of Narnia. Later, colourful coated kids trek along the hidden path to go sledging in the distant meadow.

2. For the first half hour of cooking, looking at the dry spices on the meat makes my throat hurt in anticipation but then the juices conquer them and we’re left with a delicious moist crust.

3. Looking from a dark room into the dark world, the branches of the trees seem ghostly and unreal. Or perhaps I’ve been spending too long in the Undercity

3BT – I saw it too, turn on/turn off, ice crystals

1. A squirrel appears on the fence just a foot away from Boron. He stares at it without moving and it stares back for a moment before escaping into the tree. Boron turns around to look at me – his eyes are shining with excitement and we share a blink.

2. I hear music and John’s laughter from the other room. He’s discovered these marvellous things: http://www.instructables.com/id/The-Most-Useless-Machine/.

3. Our neighbour, fresh back from Banff, Canada, tells us about what it was like to breath ice crystals.

3BT – colourful gift, pinenuts, a good start

1. John returns from the across-the-road neighbours with a bright flowering plant in a lovely white pot – they were going to throw it away because it’s flowering season is coming to the end for the year. We’ll let it flourish again.

2. The inclusion of pinenuts was inspired, even if I do say so myself.

3. Despite some incredibly late nights and intermittent work, I feel very rested and at peace instead of stressed and overwhelmed. I hope this year will continue as it has started.

Last week’s Tweets (up to 2010-01-03)

  • jars up some honey & cinnamon mustard. It's going to be a dry wholegrain one rather than a paste but looking forward to it on some good ham. #
  • accidentally flicked bleach on one of her favourite tshirts. Unhappy. #
  • is trying to work through her World of Warcraft craving without actually resorting to WoW. #
  • has surrendered to her long suppressed WoW addiction but it's taken 7hrs+ so far to install/update. Might get bored before I get to play. #
  • @thattommyhall it's not perfect but it is very much in tune with my own OCD quirks. am installing it on our old windows box, ugh. 9hrs+ now. in reply to thattommyhall #
  • Perhaps should have gone to bed some time ago. Oh look, daybreak. #

3BT – squirrel spiral, selfless attack, cake

(One from last night first)

0. I cleanse and moisturise my face before going to bed. When I look in the mirror, the cream has replaced the pallor of the day with healthy pink.

1. Two squirrels spin a spiral around the silver birch tree.

2. Considering it’s supposed to be a World of Warcraft, people are generally generous and considerate – helping each other out without being asking or without expecting reward.

3. The chocolate cake is deliciously rich and heavy. I have a second slice.