Top five things I’d do if I could stop time

ClockIn no particular order:

  • Sleep more. I usually wake up at some point between 7am-8am – through some disturbance outside or of feline origin. I’d pause time then so I could sleep for another few hours but not take up half my morning with snoozing. At the other end of the day, I’d be able to fiddle on the web/play computer games for hours and hours without it getting stupidly late (note the time of this post for an example of the current situation).
  • Have really long hot baths. The water’s temperature would only decrease over time so if time wasn’t moving the water wouldn’t get cold. Score!
  • Give myself thinking time to come up with the ultimate funny comeback/witticism for every occasion. And if I couldn’t come up with anything then, to re-arrange the other person into an amusing position as revenge/to distract from my lameness. Fingers up noses and/or bottoms ftw.
  • Sneak places I’m not currently allowed to go, OBVIOUSLY. I don’t think it would be to peek on people in the nudey or in compromising situations but I’d love to be able to wander around a restaurant kitchen or backstage at a gig – see a true behind the scenes situation. And when I restarted time again, the HILARITY of chefs/musicians suddenly finding their fingers up their noses…
  • Not be late for anything again ever – I’d just stop time until I got there. I suspect this would be my friends’ favourite thing about my temporal powers but not after I repeated accused them of being late and/or stuck their fingers up their bottoms when they finally arrived. HA!


  1. Re: hot baths not going cold. If random laws of thermodynamics ceased as well as time, I think you’d have rather more to deal with than extensive wrinkling of the skin.

  2. Tsk, men!

    Your number 1 is the one I always think is the killer app for a time machine. It would be SO useful to be able to go back and get more sleep.

    I’m going to go do something useful now and quit wasting the precious time commodity on cats and cross stitch (compelling as they are)!

    I’ll get you back though… Would you like to borrow this: ? :)

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