- @johnleach given K & I use "the office" as a euphemism for vaginas, I'm glad the drilling & banging is happening in your office, not mine in reply to johnleach #
- @TweetsByAlex A shambles is too harsh but it could easily be a lot better – better use of titles tags & more keyword-y URLs for a start. :) in reply to TweetsByAlex #
- My sewing-by-numbers kit arrived from @_leethal_ – can't wait to get started, what will the mystery animals turn out to be??! :) #
- Looking for new internal doors. Every single company website is unusable in one way or another, making a dull task even shitter. Sigh. #
- Today, I have mostly been getting excited by iron door knobs and aquaponics. So very wild. #
- Up very late with melted pre-fuse box wires, waiting for electricians. The excitement of being an adult never ends. #
- Still waiting-a lot of electricians seem to be all talk when it comes to emergency call outs at 4am. Second mains guy due soon, hopefully. #
- Yay mains people here at last. Couldn't get hold of another electrician though so burglar alarm will be going off until power is restored… #
- Would very much like to apologise to all our neighbours for the noisy crap last night inc. 20mins of burglar alarm at 5am. Sorry Greengates. #
- Have been email massacre (emassarce): something that was marked to-do 2 years ago isn't going to get done, time to file & forget about it #
- Forgot how nice a good egg mayo sarnie can be. #
- Trying to think of a subtle way to get @johnleach to make me a cup of tea but make it seem like it's his idea to brew up.This subtle enough? #
- @sarahjarvis actually, you kinda can polish them. but you still probably wouldn't want to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBj6PonX14A in reply to sarahjarvis #
- Doesn't think she's understood a word said in the last ten minutes. #satinbetweentwogeeks #
- I'm too old to be made to feel this shit by teenage girls. #
Authorlouisa
1. The world is white when we go to sleep but grey with mist when we wake up. Even on the dullest day though – when the tree line and the ends of the fields are all but invisible – the walk to the post office never fails to cheer me up.
2. I rest my head on Carla’s head, my eye socket accommodating the curve of her skull. Her fur is so soft against my cheek as we breathe together.
3. The moment we realise we’re wearing the same cardigan.
1. We have Penguin biscuits with our tea and I deadpan the joke on the back to John. As usual, he tries to solve the puzzle with logic: “it’s always a pun to do with it being black and white… living in the Antarctic… not being able to fly… about its flippers or beak…” On this occasion, for the first time in a long time, he’s right.
(Best Penguin wrapper joke ever: “Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.”)
2. My pink & purple cowl, which went missing in December, is found. I wear it home to celebrate.
3. A comment I made on Twitter generates a text message, which in turn makes a cup of tea and a muffin magically arrive in my hand. It’s the 2010 equivalent of the replicators from Star Trek.
- I seem to spend a lot of time waiting for buses in bingley. Must learn the bus times… #
- Momentary power outage in greengates = burglar alarms going off everywhere. Had to enlist 4 people to help recall our alarm code. #
- @caius until 2 weeks ago, I had never watched a star wars film. i didn't even really watch it then, just on the same room while I was WoWing in reply to Caius #
- Just had some very pleasant dealings with HMRC. Am expecting day to become night, up/down and horses to start eating each other etc etc. #
- Talks herself out of a walk to the post office. Leaving the house is for LOSERS. #
- I'm always impressed when the cats managed to press key combos when jumping on my laptop – Carbon just hit Ctrl+P six times in a row #
- Had one of those dreams where you wake up still angry at the person in it.Might lash out next time I see him-will probably deserve it anyway #
- Horsforth today is proof that everyone spent last year bumping uglies in a bid to save money during the credit crunch. Babies *everywhere*. #
- Today was perhaps the wrong day to tidy the garden at the old house. C*O*L*D. Needed to be done though, estate agent taking pics on Monday. #
- Engaged in a fierce linguistic battle with @johnleach over whether bacon & crumpets is "bumpets" or "crumpon" #
1. The afternoon seems to stretch on forever. I combine chores, pottering and play.
2. Her ginger coat reminds me not of a tiger but of tiger bread. She’s a friendly one, that’s for sure. She invites herself into the garden, sniffs around then meows at me because I’ve stopped stroking her.
3. The mustard seeds swirl in the mortar at the pestle’s command. Eventually, they give in and fall apart under the pressure.
1. Sometimes, usually in the late evening, Carla decides that the metal and plastic thing on my knee has had enough attention and now it’s her turn. She sticks her claws in my sleeve, pulls my hand towards her then deposits the hand on her own head. If the hand strays back to the laptop, she repeats until she is sated.
© 2025 Louisa Parry