Authorlouisa

3BT – squirrel spiral, selfless attack, cake

(One from last night first)

0. I cleanse and moisturise my face before going to bed. When I look in the mirror, the cream has replaced the pallor of the day with healthy pink.

1. Two squirrels spin a spiral around the silver birch tree.

2. Considering it’s supposed to be a World of Warcraft, people are generally generous and considerate – helping each other out without being asking or without expecting reward.

3. The chocolate cake is deliciously rich and heavy. I have a second slice.

3BT – blue dawn, to feel human again, bright on white

Hurrah for 2010!

1. Instead of the usual light pollution glow of night, we go to bed when the rich velvet blue dawn light is rising upward from the trees.

2. We wake slowly, awkwardly and, frankly, far too soon. We stretch out amongst the devastation of the night before and laugh again at funny moments from the party. With bacon butties in hand and a selection of cartoons playing on the TV, we enjoy the downtime until we start feeling human again.

3. The purple port stain on the sink, the discarded citrus fruit nearby.

Then and now

At New Year 1999/2000 (then), I was 20 years old. At New Year 2009/2010 (now), I’m 30 years old.

Then, I was in Liverpool, specifically Toxteth, in a small, rented one bedroom flat. Now, I’m living on the edge of Bradford in a great three-bed house, which we will be all ours in 25 years time (or thereabouts).

Then, I was in the last year of my degree and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Now, I’ve got my own company but still have little idea what I want to do with my life.

Then, I wanted to be an academic and a writer. Now, I make some of my money through writing but not as I’d imagined (making money by writing on the internet was an alien concept to me back then) but I’m so disheartened by the politics & agendas of academia that I can’t see myself returning to work in a university again. (Hell, even to study in one to a large extent, and that’s saying a lot as I still love learning.)

Then, I was with Dave – we’d just celebrated our 2nd anniversary. Now, I’m with John and if we celebrated anniversaries, we’d have exchanged “happy 7 years!” cards earlier this year.

Then, we had two awesome cats – Carla and Carbon. Now, we have three awesome, mature cats – Carla, Carbon and Boron. Sili’s ashes sit on the mantelpiece, awaiting sprinkling into the cat nip seedlings plant pots in the spring.

Then, my main hobbies were reading (mostly stuff for my degree), playing ‘The Sims’ & ‘Age of Empires’/’Age of Kings’ and watching bad films. Now, my main hobbies are making stuff, eating good food, playing management games (most recently ‘OpenTTD’; and ‘Air Traffic Control’ & ‘Harvest Moon’ on my DS) and making fun of bad films with good friends.

Then, my favourite food was Bradford curries – a rare pleasure whenever we crossed the Pennines, unmatched in Liverpool. Now, my favourite food is Bradford curries – we enjoy them considerably more frequently now.

Then, my favourite author by far was Douglas Coupland. Now, I don’t really have a favourite author – much as I don’t have a favourite band or favourite film. Some of my favourite books include ‘Revolutionary Road’ by Richard Yates, ‘Prep’ by Curtis Sittenfeld, ‘How I paid for college’ by Marc Acito, ‘Drop City’ by TC Boyle and John Wyndham’s cosy catastrophes. In 1999/2000, my favourite Douglas Coupland book was ‘Microserfs’; in 2009/2010, it’s ‘Miss Wyoming’.

Then, I only had access to the internet on the PCs at university and the main sites I visited were Yahoo (search & mail), Geocities (the home of my first website, started in 1997) and Freeservers (which hosted the majority of my websites by then). Now, I have access to the internet at home, at work, just about everywhere and the main sites I visit are Google (search & feed reader), Twitter and Wikipedia.

Then, my websites included a guide to my hometown for young people (it was the first of its kind but never up to date), a CV site including samples of my academic work & fiction, and an alumnae site for my old school. Now, my websites include a well-regarded recycling site, a once-more-renowned-than-now celebrity gossip site and a personal indulgence site (ie. this one).

Then, I thought the internet was amazing. Now, I think the internet is quadruple-amazing, although even I think it’s getting a bit overloaded with silly cat pictures.

Then, the computer we shared at home ran Windows 95. Now, our personal laptops run Ubuntu.

Then, I typically wore blue jeans with a t-shirt/vest top and a fleece jacket. I wore skirts quite regularly too. Now, I typically wear blue (albeit darker blue) jeans with a t-shirt/vest top, and a cotton hoodie. I very rarely wear skirts or dresses.

Then, I wore a size 5 shoe when I should probably have been wearing 5.5 or 6. Now, I wear a size 6.5/7 shoe and my feet are wide after finally releasing them from the bind of small tight shoes.

Then, I wore the same jewellery all the time – silver star stud earrings, a plain silver necklace and silver rings. Now, I make jewellery but don’t wear it that much, aside from my silver thumb ring.

Then, my favourite colour was silver and I hated the colour green, particularly for clothing, associating it with school. Now, my favourite colour is greyish pale teal generally, black or dark grey for clothes and I really quite like the colour green (albeit a far brighter and more cheerful shade than Greenbank’s bottle green).

Then, I hadn’t been to any of the places on my “I really really really want to go there at some point” top 10 list. Now, I have been to three of them (Venice, Russia and Berlin) and hope to go to at least one of the others next year.

Then, I was very distrusting of other women and most of my friends were boys. Now, most of my friends are still boys but I’ve learned that women aren’t all bad.

Then, I desperately wanted to reconnect with a good few people who were AWOL from my life at the time. Now, I’m in touch with some of them again and realised I’m not really too bothered about most of the rest. (Then, I read through hundreds upon hundreds of Yahoo results unsuccessfully trying to track them down. Now, I dare say if I was bothered about finding the rest, I’d know what level zombie they are on Facebook within milliseconds.)

Then, I pictured an eventual home as somewhere with a little land so we could have a few sheep as well as cats and dogs – but it was, strangely, always night in my mental picture. Now, the picture is similar except there are chickens as well as sheep, maybe even goats or a house cow the more I read about them – and it’s a lot lighter and brighter.

Then, I was adamant that I would not have children. Now, I’m still confident that I won’t give birth myself but we would like to adopt if possible.

Then, I wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about stuff unnecessarily, and being consumed by petty jealousy. Now, I do the same, sigh.

Then, I didn’t know how good I had it. Now, I know more clearly but still don’t make the most of it.

10 goals for 2010

  1. To make a meal using only ingredients I’ve grown, raised, caught or killed myself.
  2. To travel to a place on my “top ten places to go before I die” list.
  3. Finish writing my second novel.
  4. Learn how to make sausages – wet English style ones and cured ones too.
  5. Spend at least a day fishing out on the North Sea.
  6. Finally finish learning how to drive.
  7. Make a full outfit’s worth of clothing for myself – including spinning any wool used.
  8. Learn how to program and make a mini-game/application using Ruby.
  9. Climb a mountain or at least a jolly big hill.
  10. Participate more in the real world – plan/run a real life green event or scheme.

3BT – dishwashing symphony, plans, new decade

1. The pots and pans peal sonorously in the ceramic sink.

2. The end of the year & decade encourages me to reflect, to plan. A number of friends are doing “101 goals in 1001 days” but I think that’s too many and too long for me – I’d either end up listing things I didn’t really want to do or lose momentum and fall short. I decide to come up with 10 for 2010 instead.

3. We don’t have TV (no one thinks of the radio) and all our watches & phones are out of sync so there is no countdown to midnight. When we guess it’s about the right time, we exchange ‘happy new year’s and when I open the balcony door, the cacophony of bangs & whoops tells us we’re about right. I step out onto the balcony alone but Dathan & Olli soon join me. While fireworks boom and Chinese lanterns rise in the distance, we discuss our thoughts on the overriding themes of recent decades*, Jordan Catalano & trench warfare/the Somme. The great silver moon watches us throughout.

* Negatively, I agree with the Hadley Freeman article in the Guardian about the Noughties (oh, how I hate that word) being a decade defined by fakery – fake reality (such as reality TV), fake reasons for going to war, fake science and of course, a fake election to start with – but more positively, I think it’s been a decade of reversing the planet (and people) abuse of the previous decades. It obviously started well before 2000 but it’s gone mainstream this decade – more people care about finding ethical and environmentally-friendly alternatives now than they did in the past. There is still a long way to go of course.

3BT – nice’n’easy, welcome home, food for you

1. Tuna bagel melts. Sometimes easy food is THE BEST.

2. I finally decide to give into the thing I’ve been craving for the last six months or so – World of Warcraft. I played it a lot, too much, four years ago but stopped when I left the uni because I worried it would suck up all my time (plus, I’d played as far as you can on your own and I wasn’t sociable enough to get together with other people to do the level 60+ dungeons/instances). My six months in Azeroth left a permanent mark on my soul and I often found myself recalling a place – most commonly, a particular path in a wood – and it would take me a moment before realising it was in the game rather than in real life (our game manual sits on our guidebook/languages bookshelf – a fitting coincidence). So, anyway, on Tuesday night I finally gave in – John found the game installation discs and dragged our old Windows machine out of storage for me, then I began the installation process – it took 11 (eleven!) hours in total to install and apply 4 years of updates & patches. And you know what? it was worth the wait. My character is a nature-loving Night Elf – a hunter so I can have a pet/animal friend, and I’m going to be a herbalist & a tailor (the equivalent of my real life hobbies). This is going to be fun. :)

3. We go for our second major late night shop in just over a week – food and supplies for our party tomorrow night. The shop is quiet and we laugh as we stroll up and down the aisles. I pick things with different friends in mind, hoping they’ll enjoy eating them and seeing in the New Year with us.