Carla came and went:
While Sili sat and Boron rubbed against my legs:
And Carbon? Carbon was too relaxed and light absorbing for such energetic pursuits…
Authorlouisa
In no particular order:
- Sleep more. I usually wake up at some point between 7am-8am – through some disturbance outside or of feline origin. I’d pause time then so I could sleep for another few hours but not take up half my morning with snoozing. At the other end of the day, I’d be able to fiddle on the web/play computer games for hours and hours without it getting stupidly late (note the time of this post for an example of the current situation).
- Have really long hot baths. The water’s temperature would only decrease over time so if time wasn’t moving the water wouldn’t get cold. Score!
- Give myself thinking time to come up with the ultimate funny comeback/witticism for every occasion. And if I couldn’t come up with anything then, to re-arrange the other person into an amusing position as revenge/to distract from my lameness. Fingers up noses and/or bottoms ftw.
- Sneak places I’m not currently allowed to go, OBVIOUSLY. I don’t think it would be to peek on people in the nudey or in compromising situations but I’d love to be able to wander around a restaurant kitchen or backstage at a gig – see a true behind the scenes situation. And when I restarted time again, the HILARITY of chefs/musicians suddenly finding their fingers up their noses…
- Not be late for anything again ever – I’d just stop time until I got there. I suspect this would be my friends’ favourite thing about my temporal powers but not after I repeated accused them of being late and/or stuck their fingers up their bottoms when they finally arrived. HA!
Earlier this afternoon, someone on our recycling blog Recycle This suggested using old frying pans to make fake food art.
I thought “hey! I’m THAT COOL too! I could do that!” so here is my knitted fried egg. John wanted to plastinate a real one but I thought knitting would be more fun. I used leftover white wool from knitting booties for John’s niece and the yellow wool is leftover after I knitted a stripey “bumble beeanie” hat for the man himself a few years ago. I used stuffing from an old cushion and the cardboard for the egg’s base is from a cereal pack.
The egg (which works as a really good frisbee because of the cardboard base) is just sitting in the pan at the moment but I’ll stick it in when I’ve got some velcro — and when I’ve knitted the accompanying sausages. Now, I just have to figure out how to do the beans…
(Click the close-up shot for a bigger version)
I thought this was quite a given way to do it but John seemed surprised by it when he saw me doing it once so I’ll document it here in case he’s not the only one who hasn’t thought of it yet:
When checking through your spam folder for false positives, sort by the Subject rather than the date or whatever – you can then instantly eliminate huge groups of the messages that have the same subject line or that all start with the word ‘Viagra’ etc. Makes it a lot easier to browse through and find those pesky real mails.
Everything’s Gone Green
I used to love Douglas Coupland’s books, lu-huh-va-hah. I’ve passed the house’s “#1 Coupland fan” badge to John now but I still like some of his stuff, particularly his earlier books. He wrote the screenplay for Everything’s Gone Green and there are quite a number of Coup’ moments in the film – ones that just evoke the feeling of the books and things that seem to be directly borrowed from them.
Like in most of his (particularly later) books, the story of Everything’s Gone Green isn’t the best feature (it’s rather cliche in fact – nice boy gets seduced by the dark side but gives up the evil power for a girl) but the telling is great. Humorous scripting, fun characters and random asides that work well.
The photographs and colour tone of the film, along with the indie soundtrack, also help to create a wonderful texture – and we really, really want to go to Vancouver now.
I love sleep. I always have done. It is one of my most favourite things to do in the whole world – I actively enjoy it rather than just doing it because I have to. I think my love of it is partly to do with the awesomely vivid dreams I always have but it’s probably also to do with the fact that, out of everywhere I’ve ever been in the whole world, I don’t generally feel warmer or safer any more so than I do in our bed. Consquently, mornings are hell.
Thankfully these days I usually get to wake up late(r than most people) and it doesn’t matter that much whether I jump out of bed instantly or lounge around for a little while. So I lounge around for a little while.
My alarm usually goes off around 10am but unless I have something pressing to attend to or am going out for lunch, I don’t HAVE to get up until 11ish. After 28 years of practise, I can turn alarms off, drink and even hold full conversations without fully regaining consciousness so the first beep of the alarm barely registers – it just gets snoozed. Ten minutes later, ditto, but ten minutes after that, I start to stir.
But I don’t open my eyes. I’m not ready for the world yet so I just lie there, in the foetal position naturally enough, and doze in and out. Slowly the “in” takes up more time than the “out” and my ears wake up so I become more aware of what is happening around me: whether John has woken up and is reading/on his laptop beside me or has got up already; what the weather conditions are like – rain, wind or children’s shrieking if it’s sunny; and which cat is padding on my head.
After a little while longer and probably another alarm beep or two, I start to open my eyes for short bursts of time. Unless there is a question-raising noise, I stare focus-less in whatever direction my head is facing and it’s like seeing the messy room for the first time. Not in a shocked/horrified way but more in a meditative way – there is rarely any thoughts attached. As another alarm beep passes, I turn over and blankly stare in another direction, and become disgustingly aware of the drool falling out of my mouth onto the pillow – so suck it back.
My eyes stay open for longer now but the stare is no less vacant – and the return to shut-eye status is always welcome. If John’s still there, the first words of the day are spoken but if not the only sound is more drool slurps.
Another alarm beep silenced and I’m lying on my back, eyes open most, but not all, of the time. I stare at the ceiling and look to the rest of the room in my peripheral vision – vision that isn’t perfect without my glasses but at this point in the day, the sharpest it gets without curved plastic assistance. A hand might find a passing cat.
The penultimate alarm beep is silenced and I’m almost fully awake. Sometimes I fling myself to the other end of the bed – on top of the duvet, perhaps with a cat for company. Other times I just lie there and steel myself up for the day. This is the first time I start thinking about things and planning the day’s activities and what I’ll do for breakfast.
With the final beep, any sloth-like behaviour from here on in pretty much caused entirely by laziness or a noted temperature discrepancy between under the duvet and the room in general. My body musters all its faculties to rip itself from the cocoon of the covers – sometimes this takes the form of a sudden mental urge to get out of bed that I’m unable to resist – and eventually I give in. I sit up, feet on the floor, ready to start the day.
© 2024 Louisa Parry