Toirlet rollDear the very small cross section of people that both read my blog and use our bathroom,

Next time you’re in there doing your whatever, you might smell something strange. Assuming you’ve not eating asparagus recently and your bowels aren’t acting strangely, the smell is probably our toilet roll. Yes, our current toilet roll provision is perfumed.

Scented toilet roll is apparently the new gimmick for people who need to differentiate from all the multi-layered, quilted, printed, themed and cushioned options out there and I bought it by accident. I worry about the people who buy it on purpose. Do they have such issues with their poop that they can’t possibly let a piece of tissue that smells of shit go down to the sewers? I mean, what on earth would the people at the sewage works thing of them?

Another worry I have is the build-up of sickly smelling chemicals will cause damage to the environment – I’m certainly not going to be composting the inner tubes as I usually do as that seems to be the bit that is actually soaked in the perfume.

Anyway blog-readers-and-bathroom-users, have fun during your waste product expelling, push the flush a couple of times in quick succession to get it to work and don’t forget to wash your hands.


PS. Apparently ‘faeces’ is a pluralia tantum – it only exists in the plural, you never have a ‘faece’ – while ‘urine’ is a singulare tantum, you don’t get ‘urines’. There’s something to ponder while you’re on the pot, eh?