1. John and I often hold conversations in the form of song, usually singing alternate lyrics to an earworm or the song we’re currently playing. Today’s conversation in song: I explain that I’ve left the door key in my hoodie pocket and my hoodie is at the bottom of the garden because by the time I’d got there, I’d realised it was too hot to wear it for the walk. I explain that to the tune of Tenacious D’s Tribute.

2. The tubby black cat jumps over the lazy dog.

3. It nearly doesn’t happen – it’s already late and we’re hungry – but John decides it’ll take as long to get curry delivered as it will for him to make his own keema achar. He thinks it’s too lamby but I think it’s delicious. The seeds add variety to the flavour of the sauce. “Are there fennel seeds in here?” I ask him at one point. There are.