1. The bras look arranged: turquoise on one side, cerise on the other with a new crisp white in between.

2. The walk meanders as we escape the worst of the mud and hunt for neolithic rock carvings. Later, we follow a path I’ve not been down before, along the nearside of the canal behind the houses, and find an old iron wheel and satsumas amongst the grass.

3. I catch a glimpse of something in the mirror: the house across the valley, glowing windows in the blackness of night. It surprises me – we can’t often see it behind the trees and the mirror changes the angle too – and feels magical as a result.

4. Someone, at some point, has replaced Strange’s paws with velvet. I could stroke them all day.

5. The video playlist tells you everything you need to know about my physical and mental health this evening: WOW machinima; a James St James transformation; “springer spaniel kitten”; just straight up kittens; and finally, Lonely Island’s Semicolon.