• Someone's fuck up 7 years ago is possibly going to cost us a LOT of money now. AWESOME. #
  • Just saw a boy on the phone get pantsed by his friends. He was wearing MC Hammer trousers so deserved it. #
  • Warmed up leftover gravy from the oven tray to pour over the cats' slow-roasted ox heart, now the house smells of stew. #crazycatlady #
  • My boy's sexy vagEYEna is very popular on Reddit today – http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/b5v9f/chat_roulette_eye_vagina/ #
  • @thattommyhall i ate 3 bits of lettuce with my giant pile of jerked chicken & dumplings – that means i had a healthy salad for lunch, right? in reply to thattommyhall #
  • @andatche no probs, glad it fits :) in reply to andatche #
  • Bloody hell, I've been disturbingly productive today. #
  • Had a hypnopompic nightmare about coleslaw. Now off to meet some cat-friendly doggies in Liverpool, woo! #
  • Met an ace dog today. :D #

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